the 'School's Out' diary of
Volume one thousand five hundred and ninety-nine… and 7/8.
Note to self,
when looking for a midnight snack -
Do not open Dad's side of the fridge!
Honestly, I think some of his takeout has been in there for weeks.
I "broke up" with Jackson Jekyll today...not that we were ever really dating I mean officially, which would have been nice but every time he would ask me out he would totally pull the invisible boy act on me and not show up. Or call. The next day he was always very sweet and apologetic but he could never remember why he forgot our date. I guess the final nail in the coffin was when he didn't meet me at this party and I totally felt like a one tombstone graveyard. I ended up dancing with this scary hot DJ named Holt Hyde who acted like he knew me although I'm pretty sure that we hadn't met before. Jackson and I are still friends but sometimes that's just how the tombstone crumbles.
Went to the beach with Frankie, Clawdeen and Clawd to watch Lagoona surf. It was a beautiful day, which meant I had to break out the sunscreen although the stuff I have to use is more like sunwall. It's so thick it's like being coated in honey and it's like a sand magnet so I pretty much have to stay on a blanket the whole time or I end up looking like a sand sculpture. Oh well, it's worth the annoyance to get to spend the day at the beach.
I stayed up late reading a new novel about a forbidden romance between a werewolf girl and a vampire boy...like that would ever happen...but it's so sweet and tragic I couldn't put it down. Of course I slept through my alarm and was almost late for school, which meant my makeup was a mess because I couldn't take my time putting it on. Luckily, Ghoulia saw me before anyone else did and she helped me straighten it out so I didn't walk into my first class looking like an undead clown... not that there's anything wrong with that.
I took one of those quizzes to see what kind of creature I am - I think all the teen monster mags have them now - which seems kind of strange since like I already know. Anyway, the quiz had questions like: What is your favorite haunt? What is your favorite food? Would you rather be dead or undead? Do you run, shamble, fly or ooze? So after I answered all the questions I turned to the back to read:
Congratulations! You are a Woodland Nymph! You are kind, gentle and love sunshine and nature. You probably make your home in a tree where you enjoy the company of many woodland animals that you would never scare or eat.
I wonder if I should share this with father?
LOL...maybe not (smiley face with fangs)
Clawd and Spectra had a monster argument today and it created such a fuss that both of them got called into Headmistress Bloodgood's office. I don't think I've ever seen Clawd so angry or Spectra so self-righteous but neither of them would talk about it when they came out of HHB's office - not even to me! Clawdeen thinks it has something to do with Cleo and Clawd but I totally don't understand how she made that connection. Now Clawdeen is mad at Cleo. Again. This is really sad since it seemed like they were starting to actually tolerate each other.
I know a lot of monsters are not excited about having to write an essay on our monster heritage but I think it's creeperifically cool! First of all, I'm writing a screenplay about my un-life and I think this will really help the third act and secondly because it gives me the opportunity to set the record straight about a couple of things. Beginning with the fact that my father is much older than any monster realizes. I mean he was already a vampire back when togas were first considered fashionable... soooo glad father doesn't wear one anymore. Then there was that whole identity theft calamity that happened when we rented our castle in Transylvania to a total con-monster who went around pretending to be father. Now I have to carry a copy of my death certificate to prove that I really am as old as I say I am cause some monsters think I must be related that loser. Unfortunately for the imposter his bats came home to roost and not in a good way either. The rest of the story, like how father took in me and my mother when no one else would and why I'm a vegan vampire I'm going to save for the screenplay which I would like to film in pink and white. How scary cool would that be?
In the span of 3 days Clawdeen missed a test in Mad Science, a school dance and a buy one get one shoe sale at the Maul. Frankie and I knew something had to be wrong but Clawdeen wouldn't answer our texts or emails. Finally Clawd showed us a picture he took of Clawdeen with his iCoffin. Her hair... it was... not of this world. Clawd said she couldn't fix it and had to "ctrl+alt+delete her new 'do" with a pair of electric clippers. He said she was so depressed that she turned all her mirrors toward the wall and wasn't even growling at Howleen for borrowing her clothes. I suggested we shave our heads too but then Frankie reminded me how fast Clawdeen's hair grows and that we'd be bald a lot longer than she would. So she came up with the idea of going to the Maul and buying Clawdeen a fierce fashionista scare package to cheer her up instead and that's just what we did. Of course we bought some things for ourselves too :)
I was supposed to hang out with the ghouls last night but I didn't. I tried to explain what happened to Clawdeen but I couldn't. She was annoyed with me cause I always tell her everything. She thinks I'm keeping a secret from her which I guess I sort of am but I'm not sure I want to tell anybody about it yet. So I wrote this poem to describe what happened. I don't know why it's easier for me to express emotions in verse but sometimes it just is. I read it to Count Fabulous who usually leaves the room when I get too sappy but this time he flew down and gave me a little bat hug when I was finished.
fall autumn night I took a walk jaunt
to meet some friends at a familiar haunt
The sky above was
very starry bright
and there seemed to me not a cloud in sight
So off I went
without sans umbrella or coat
although what I probably needed was a boat
Cause the clouds
came rolled in with a dragon's roar
and shortly thereafter it began to pour
Not a pleasant rain, good for plant and flower
but a driving, unfriendly,
cold hard icy shower
Now I was halfway between home and there
my makeup was
running ruined and so was my hair
With no shelter in sight or a way to get dry
I put my
head face in my hands and started to cry
When out of the
shower rain a voice broke through,
"Hey D it's me Clawd, hey D is that you?"
As I blinked through the tears and rain I could see
Clawdeen's brother Clawd, waving at me
Across four lanes of traffic bravely he dashed
with umbrella in hand to my side he flashed
led helped me back to his car warm and dry
said not a word till I'd finished my cry
"Here's a hot coffinccino whip cream no foam,
it'll warm you right up while I drive you home."
From the car he walked me up to my door
protecting me still from the storm's down pour
As he turned to leave I placed a kiss on his cheek
then I ran inside before he could speak.
And while I watched his car disappear from sight
I felt something
happen change for me that night
No longer did I see him as just my best friend's brother
that night, to me, he became something other.
The great thing about poetry is that it doesn't have to be epic to express how you feel. Now I have to wonder, "Does he feel the same?"