the 'Basic' diary of
This is my diary. If you want your life to last longer than it takes to read it. You won't.
I got up late, so there was no hot water left, then I cut myself shaving this morning 'cause my razor was dull and I was in a hurry to get out of the freezing water, but amazingly enough the day actually went downhill from there. Later on, Crescent, the alpha kitty, must have sensed my mood 'cause instead of spending the night prowling around, he curled up in my lap and kept me company while I sorted through my funk.
It rained today. I hate the rain. It totally caused my hair to poof out and I was not about to spend the rest of the day looking like a werepoodle. So I grabbed a pair of electric clippers and fifteen minutes later, I had a new 'do. It's short, scary cute and perfectly wolfish. I think I'll keep it for awhile or at least until this rain goes away. I have decided that when I control my own fashion empire, I'm going to have a stylist on call just for rainy days.
I hate, hate, hate sharing a room with my sister. Howleen totally growls in her sleep, she wears my clothes, and she got sprayed by a skunk last week, which means that every time she takes a bath, which isn't often, it stinks up the whole room. I'd hope she gets fleas, but she'd just spread them to me.
I've got to get serious about planning what I'm going to wear on the first day of school this year. I mean, it's not like I'm worried about some monster showing up and looking more fabulous than me, but I feel obligated to set the bar for everyone else. Last year, on the first day of school, I caused a minor traffic jam just walking across the school parking lot. It's going to be hard to top that, but I've been experimenting with some new hair styles and I'm considering just asking for a school assembly so that crowd control won't be a problem.
I tried a new hair remover made especially for werewolves. The label says it will totally eclipse unwanted hair and it's supposed to keep you hair-free for a week...not. It's expensive, it stings worse than wolfsbane and I still have to shave twice a day! What a rip... I could have used that money for a new belt.
Spent the day at Draculaura's. She's the absolute sweetest BMFF ever! Although if she doesn't stop trying to feed me tofu, I'm going to bite her. J/K ;P She has, like, rooms and rooms of clothes. It's like a fashion museum. So awesome! She's always says that we're going to pick out clothes to give Ghoul Will, but she always gives most of them to me. I pretend I don't need them, but with so many brothers and sisters, it's not like there's a lot of extra money to go around for new fashions. I guess we must have gotten a little loud though 'cause we woke up her dad. He doesn't really like werewolves very much, but he tolerates me 'cause I'm friends with Draculaura. Whatever. It's not like I want to hang out with him either. Anyway, the best thing about Draculaura is that she doesn't give me clothes because she feels sorry for me; she does it because she's my friend.
Went to The Maul with Clawd today. He needed a new football and I needed to get some ideas for my next hairstyle. While I was there, I saw the strangest thing. I was walking past the witches' kitchen supply store and saw Deuce Gorgon reading a cookbook. I yelled "Yo, Deuce, trying to find a recipe for snake?" He dropped the cookbook and looked all embarrassed. At least, I think he was. It's hard to tell what's going on behind those glasses. I think he would have tried to stone me, but Clawd walked up and Deuce chilled. Sometimes it's cool to have the toughest guy in school on your side. Thanks, bro!
If I were a mad scientist, the hairstyle experiment I tried today would be locked away in the lab, never to see the light of day again. I flat-ironed my hair so it was straight and then I razor cut it. As soon as the curl came back, things got ugly. Even Howleen felt sorry for me. It's a good thing I'm the werewolf equivalent of Rapunzel and my hair will be grown out by the end of the week or I'd be wearing a hat until Halloween.
Draculaura tried to talk me into trying out for the fearleading squad again. Puhh-leeze. A list of why I'm not a fearleader: 1) I don't "try out" for anything. 2) I wouldn't be caught human in those uniforms. 3-8) Boring and Cleo de Nile 9) While they're yelling for the boys, I'm in the stands flirting with the boys. 10) Boring and Cleo de Nile
I have thought about trying out just to show I could make the team, but then I look at my list again and it reminds me why I don't want to.
Hung out at The Maul with Draculaura and met a new girl named Frankie Stein. She was shopping with her mom and fortunately for Frankie, they ran into us. Otherwise, she would have started the first day of school dressed like the Bride of Lame-n-stein. Frankie's beautiful and sweet, but a bit naive. Fortunately, I'm here to make sure she gets properly educated in the ways of the fierce fashionista.
Our annual end of summer family boo-b-que was today. Mmmmmmm...fat juicy steaks for everybody. Except for Draculaura, of course. She brought tofu dogs, veggie burgers and a human boy named Jackson Jekyll. She'll always be my BMFF and the sweetest monster ever, but ghoulfriend makes some strange choices. Anyway, I could tell he was really nervous and what human surrounded by werewolves wouldn't be, until Clawd started talking about football and then the two of them kinda hit it off. I think Draculaura is major league crushing on this guy.
I know most monsters are probably dreading starting school, but not me. I want to learn as much as I can so that I'll be totally prepared when I start building my fashion empire. If for nothing else than to be able to move out of the house and get my own place without having to share everything with all my brothers and sisters. Oh, no! I think I smell Howleen in the shower! Why couldn't I have been an only wolf?